Even though my appointment today was anywhere between 10a-8p, a tech guy called me at 8:15 and said he could be here shortly.
I figured, with the knowledge he had from reading notes of what previously went wrong, this guy would be prepared to get my cable up and running.
I was wrong. Very wrong. He was here FOUR HOURS. 4 hours. FOUR!!
I got to know his whole life story. Jamaican. From the Parish St. Catherine. Married 16 years. Worked for Optimum 15 years!! Nice man.
Here’s the dope. The wrong address the building had with Cablevision made the problem I was having more serious than just the address wrong. With a 10528 zip code it “located” my boxes in another district within Cablevision’s internal grid. When the address got corrected on Saturday to 10604 it didn’t logically relocate the boxes in the grid. Got that? I’m glad because I don’t.
Starting at 9am, my technician called his supervisor who in turn had to call one person higher up. That response took until way after 10am. We did a lot of waiting and gabbing.
By the time the top in the chain of command called my technician, she had to start my account all over. As if it were new, a task that took well over an hour.
But wait, there’s more!!
After all was said and done and the two boxes were up and running, guess what? Can you even take a stab??
Somehow someone changed the cable package I had to the lowest of the low, Basic. We’d previously subscribed to what Cablevision called the Silver package that gave us all the channels we wanted. Basic gives us like five channels – 2, 4, 5, 7, 11, and oddly, HGTV. It’s like not having tv at all. Not even Channel 12, as local as local news gets, is available to me. My technician told me the Silver Package doesn’t even exist anymore. Nice of someone to tell me that, then ASK me what level service I wanted.
Right now the box is frozen. It can’t change channels or make any move. I’ve turned it in and off and it’s locked up tighter than a crabs ass.
I’m told I will get a phone call from the woman who got my system up and running, a follow up to see if everything is copacetic. When? Who knows it its today even. My technician told me NOT NOT NOT to try and change the channel package until AFTER the woman calls me back because who knows what could happen. I think he’s right.
Bottom line, the new Altice Mini boxes are atrocious. There’s no time or channel on the box face, it’s all on the TV. Probably fine for you young’uns, but we old farts like to stay in a groove of the known. I want my old Samsung boxes back.
Please enjoy this comedic moment, brought to you by Optimum! Ha ha ha.