Perhaps It’s Fitting..

A beautifully sunny bright day. First in a very long time.

With it comes news very early this morning that the daughter of our neighbor died before the sun came up. E lived far longer than anyone had predicted. When the doctors sent her home from Houston, the family was fearful she wouldn’t live for the plane ride. But, almost seven weeks later, her body finally gave out. It’s impossible to know how the family is feeling. I do know our minister was there today and I’ve been told the family is at peace but I suspect the real grieving begins today.

While there was no hope that E could live, there’s probably always a refusal to accept the eventual until it becomes reality. Today that reality happened.

The family has asked for privacy. No calls. No one coming over. Totally understood.

E’s son turns three on Friday and I know there was worry that E would die on his birthday, something no kid should have to grow up with. There’s a birthday party planned for Saturday, as there should be.

What started as a “simple melanoma” that doctors felt they got all of, moved to organs and eventually to her brain. When she and hubby and son came over for Thanksgiving, she looked just like her old self, but she took a marked decline right after that and was never able to bounce back.

Her peers, including our youngest, are deeply saddened to lose such a close friend, one we’ve known since she was two.

Life goes on, as it must, but I take pleasure in seeing the bright sun today as if it is to say it’s all going to be okay.

11 thoughts on “Perhaps It’s Fitting..

  1. I don’t mean for this to sound callous, but I do hope that there is some sense of relief for the family now. Watching a loved one suffer, knowing what the horrible outcome will be, has to be one of the worst things to endure in life. Like you’re endlessly holding your breath but aren’t even aware that you’re doing it.
    I don’t know their names but I’m praying, and crying, for all of them. And I’m glad their day began with sunshine. It had to have made at least a tiny bit of difference.

    1. Not callous at all. I think we all thought it must have been hell on earth to (a) go to Houston thinking there could be a miracle (b) being told no (c) flying home to gather family around for what they expected to be tops two weeks. I am sure they are mentally exhausted from just what you said – wondering if the every breath is the last. I hope, after the funeral, the parents can steal some time away….to regroup.

  2. Vladimir Nabokov has a quote that goes with your post:
    Life is a great sunrise.
    I do not see why death should not be an even greater one.

    Strangely enough, today I nearly asked about the Mooch (Meghan Markle of Bedford) and if there was an update…

    1. The Meghan Markle of Bedford! That’s a keeper! 😂😂😂😂 We refer to her as Princess SummerFallWinterSpring because that’s how long she planned to stay. I believe she’s still in residence although I have not asked specifically. Now knowing her intent was to stay, it makes hindsight sense that she arrived with a suitcase the size of a Queen Mary Around the World steamer trunk.

      PS: Beautiful quote.

  3. Although we knew the day would come for her, it comes with a shocking, sudden finality. It’s never really over, though.
    I hope the family can put aside their grief for now and focus on her little boy. May his birthday be free of the sorrow they feel now. More than ever, he needs to be surrounded by love. I’m sure he senses something is wrong.
    As for you, EOS, you’ve been the best friend and neighbor.

    1. There are so many decisions going forward. E and her husband and child lived in Brooklyn. His job is in Manhattan. I’m sure there was discussion where husband will live and who will help with child once E died. With all the time they had before she died, I’m sure they talked about options. Hubby’s family lives in Westchester too so there’s plenty of love. E’s peers who live in Bedford and are young moms themselves, have taken turns having the child over for play dates. Keeping some normalcy. Some.

      I got a beautiful email from the people at Bedford Gourmet thanking me for quietly footing the bill for food for the family over this time. They too are sad to hear the news.

  4. Watching your child suffer knowing that her death is the only outcome is pure torture. There is nothing in life that prepares you for the death of a child. For the rest of their lives the last thing at night and the first thing in the morning E’s parents will feel is deep, deep sorrow. You can replace your wife but you can never replace your daughter. My heart breaks for them.

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