Color Me Shocked


I got a long handwritten written note from my neighbor yesterday, with some updates about E and more interestingly, some commentary about Miss Mooch. Long story short…this..

“Something bigger than us has been  happening over here. After Mooch (she doesn’t say Mooch obviously, but for the sake of this post, it’s easier if I continue to call her Mooch) left [family with young children] slowly as she was here during the day she started helping [E’s husband]  take care of E. We had NO IDEA that she would become the blessing we all needed. She helps [E’s husband] day and night and has given rest to him as she preps meds, keeps the schedule on her phone, helps him remember and do everything. She has given rest to [E’s sister] and I as we were trying to do too much with [grandson], house, laundry, cleaning, etc etc.”

I am very pleased to read this and happy to be wrong but I admit I did NOT see it playing out this way, especially since it was my neighbor who was initially unhappy that The Mooch was around too much.

If her presence is a blessing, then there’s nothing else to say other than I feel terrible about how wrong I was. I read the letter to Mr. EOS and he was also surprised at the twist. But as CosHarbour said so well, the fact that this family is about to lose a child and a husband is about to lose his wife and a toddler is about to lose his mom, the household must be filled with a zillion emotions. That there is a blessing in all the sorrow, I am thrilled.

PS: If you are new to the blog and wonder what this post is about, here’s a link to the related thread. 

24 thoughts on “Color Me Shocked

  1. I would not have guessed this outcome either but it is wonderful news that the guest who never left is a boon and a blessing.

    1. I’m surprised too but happy. Do you think your neighbor was told you were not happy and that’s why she decided to pen this letter? Seems an odd thing to tell you unless she felt she wanted to correct your feeling about The Mooch.

      1. It does seem odd your neighbor felt she had to tell you what a blessing the young girl is. I agree with Anon2 that perhaps you were being admonished.

    1. Honestly, that thought went though my mind and hubby would be very vulnerable to attention. I hope it’s not the case. I really hope not.

    1. This is the hard part. I ONLY ONLY ONLY told Mooch to leave because my neighbor TOLD ME she was unhappy with her. I would have never done it on my own. If she now thinks I sent Mooch away and is angry with me, I would of course apologize. But I don’t think now is the time to ruffle any more feathers. She said what she said. I’m not sure how to take it and if I apologize and I confuse her why I am apologizing, then it gets way more complicated.

      I make mistakes all the time and apologize when an apology is due. I’m just not sure what to make of this twist.

  2. I don’t think you were wrong. Mooch treated you poorly and imposed on the family with young children. Green Juicer may be on to something. You don’t have to respond to the note but I’m curious why your neighbor didn’t just pick up the phone and call you.

    1. With a full house, Hospice and family etc, calling means finding a moment and space for privacy. The letter was much longer than the comments about Mooch. Detailed thank you to me for being such a good friend and for providing lunches etc. From that, I have to think she did not mean to admonish me.

      1. With that information, for sure I’d say she didn’t mean to admonish you. You should have told us the full scope of the letter. Leaving that out you gave us the impression the letter was all about The Mooch.

  3. Could it be that Mooch realized she had to shape up and pitch in or she’d be asked to leave yet another family? I didn’t see any indiction that she’s cooking, cleaning, shopping, doing laundry, though. Is she still enjoying the meals you prepare?

    1. Mooch kept telling me she was a boon next door, that her karma was soothing and helpful. I didn’t believe one second of her California line. She did nothing here but sleep and leave so I don’t see that she’s cooking and cleaning next door. She can’t drive so she can’t be doing the shopping. No matter how bad things got if this were my house, I wouldn’t let anyone else ever do my laundry. So I presume her helping is exactly as E’s mom said in the letter – an emotional alliance for the husband and sister.

      It’s further complicated in that E is taking longer to die than was calculated. She came home from Houston on that very snowy day, April 1/2(?) and the family told us that she might live two weeks. I am sure there are conflicting emotions of seeing her live while still knowing she will die. I’d be hardpressed to make it through a day with that in my head so if Mooch is a blessing, more power to her. I’ve been wrong before.

  4. EOS, my opinion is that if your neighbor specifically told you that the mooch was…..well, a mooch, I’m sure she just wanted to let you know that the mooch really wasn’t a mooch after all, so that you don’t walk away thinking the mooch was a mooch. (Key word here: mooch). I don’t think you need to respond at all. She could have chosen not to say anything about….the mooch…but she did. I wouldn’t worry about it. You’ve been a wonderful friend and neighbor and just acted on your neighbor’s comment to help her (not the mooch). Now I’M getting confused!!! :). Stay as generous as you are.

  5. if I read the letter correctly, she’s prepping E’s meds (what’s known as prepouring), keeping a schedule so that they are administered on time by whoever has that role in the family (and hopefully keeping a written record that they’ve been given), and taken that enormous strain off the husband and sister’s shoulders, speaking as a nurse, she’s worth her weight in gold. If she’s sitting up in the night with her friend so the husband and sister can sleep and save their strength for the daylight hours, or playing with the grandson so aunt, dad, and grandma know he’s safe while they concentrate on E, then yes, she’s a blessing. Time with E is what’s important-not dust on the furniture or who throws the sheets in the dryer. Bibi

    1. Therein lies one of the many mysteries of that letter. Was my neighbor really asking me to take Mooch back in? I don’t think so but I do wonder if I should bring it up. I’m sure if I did, Mooch would tell me to #%~}%?>%%##%!! She was pissed at me.

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