Breaking News: New York and Rhode Island it is!


For the last few years we I have been on a tear about how horrible New York is and how we MUST leave and go to North Carolina or South Carolina. Leave the blue states and head to a red one. Leave the god-awful high tax states and leave behind the horrible governance of our two blue state homes.

We spent weeks traveling and searching for the right city. Researched. Talked to friends. Spoke to realtors. Had great advise from you readers who have escaped. Took it all in.

Then, it hit me. All at once. Like a ton of bricks. Maybe it was all the beer and wine we had in Stonington but wow, it was a definite Aha Moment.

We’ve decided to keep the house in Bedford ’til they carry us out. The Carriage House is nearly done in RI and we can go back to our old routine of dividing time between houses.

It came down to two things: Money. And Money.

For us to buy a good sized home on the water in NC, SC, or Florida is at minimum $1.5-$2m. Then there’s the cost of moving (but honestly, I didn’t want to take much with me from here so the cost would have been buying all new furniture in the new house). $$$$. Then there’s being far away from the kids and grandkids. And how do we easily get back and forth from the South to RI. No more quick day trips if necessary. What if a rental house bursts a pipe or a delivery of lumber for the Carriage House is due unexpectedly and Mr. EOS needs to be there? Without our own plane or helicopter, being far from RI just wasn’t doable. Don’t forget, Mr. EOS’s RI family roots go back many many generations and it’s where he wants his ashes to remain. No matter what we looked at, it all came back to what happens to RI?

Long story short, as many foibles this house has, and it has many, we’ll stay, fix it up, grit our teeth and pay the taxes, and with money not spent on a new house, we can help the kids upgrade their houses. This is the time they NEED money, with growing families and busy lives. We can do with a lot less and be happy.

To wit, I called our architect and he’s coming over Friday morning to chat. I want what I want this time around. My big screened-in porch. A workable (not cobbled to make work) second story. A bigger laundry room with pantry and some new utilities. A new better cleaner furnace and a better hot water system in the old end of the house.



This plan goes against everything everyone has told us. The advise is to get out. Bail. Sell the NY house. Go. Flee. Move. Don’t do any more work. You’re crazy if you put in another red cent.

Well, you are all probably right but it didn’t feel right – no matter how we tried to be excited over houses in NC, the practical side of Mr. EOS prevailed. Note I didn’t say MY practical side prevailed. Ha, I don’t have one.

So, there it is. For what it’s worth. Let the ranting begin.

27 thoughts on “Breaking News: New York and Rhode Island it is!

  1. Hooray! We looked at houses in five states before deciding to rebuild a house we already had in a town we knew and that knew us. Actually came THIS close to a place in Maine but the seller’s broker thought he could get a few more bucks out of us. He thought wrong.
    There’s a lot to be said for the old familiar. I think you’ll be very happy with your decision. Plus, you get a screened in porch in the bargain.

    1. It’s been all my doing….100% of the idea to move, that is. Mr. EOS has come along to look but I KNEW, in the back of his mind, he was thinking woman, get over this crazy notion of moving, and hurry.

      It was a combination bee in my bonnet + worry about spending SO much in taxes + surviving in New York’s Democrat stranglehold.
      What’s the Oz saying – There’s No Place Like home?

      Of course, the humor will be when the architect says “sure, have it all, but wait till you see what’ll cost’ya”!

  2. Good for you! I refuse to let taxes dictate where we live and it’s nice to see we aren’t the only ones staying put.

    1. It was not just the taxes, it was the volume of Democrat noise ratcheted up in NY that gets tough to take. We Westchester County residents were treated well under Astorino as a County Exec but when he lost to a guy who wants MORE sanctuary cities, I wasn’t sure I could stand it.

  3. You must feel like a tremendous weight has been lifted, and you seem truly at peace (not at all conflicted anymore).
    That means it was the right decision.

    1. Yes, oddly I do. What’s so strange is how long I’ve struggled with this decision. I was sure, 100% sure, we had to leave NY but something came over me while we were in Stonington, being one-on-one with one of the kids, sitting, listening, chatting, laughing – those spontaneous moments can’t happen when we are three state away. Aha moments are real and I had one.

  4. Congratulations! Sounds like a good choice, especially if you are keeping the RI house and don’t mind the winters up north. Relocating to somewhere you don’t know a soul is daunting, though for us it has worked out. We did have family from Boston down this weekend who luxuriated in the sunny, low 80’s weather, and thought it might not be a bad idea to move down.

    1. I think I could have handled the move – I’m social enough to make new friends etc., but of the two of us, I’m more accepting of ch-ch-change. Mr. EOS, not as much. He loves his routines. If this move would have only made ME happy, it was wrong.

      We’ll just have to take more warm weather vacations. We’re skipping Jamaica this year and are missing the two weeks baking at the beach.

  5. Congratulations! Whenever I read your travel posts, it seemed to me that there were a lot of places that were close, but, no cigar. Every place has good points and bad, including where you are now – the trouble is the bad points are not always recognizable until you’ve been there for more than a few days or a week. My own personal opinion was to stay (friends and family count for a lot) and, when the weather sucked or you just needed a change in latitude/attitude, go, and then return with new energy. Just my 2 cents and I don’t know nuthin’.

  6. Your decision isn’t lost on me. My wife is very unhappy with the move to Miami and we too have circled to find another place to call home, with no clear winner. We are at sea, literally and figuratively. I envy the fact that you’ve gotten to the point of making the decision. Congratulations.

      1. Not yet. We had one couple look three times then went with another house. We don’t have all that many showings because people know this house was in the flood.

  7. There’s lots to be said for the familiar. I had many decisions to make after my husband died, the toughest was where to live. My Florida friends said I should move there. My son wanted me to move to California and live near them. Each choice sounded plausible but in the long run I wanted to stay near my friends, church, dentist, and hairdresser. I think you made a good decision other than you’ll still have to deal with the lousy mailman.

    1. Hairdresser. Dentist! Love both. And can’t imagine starting over. Understood.

      Now, as for the mailman, I don’t want to jinx things, but I think I think I think I have a new mailman who has been showing up when it’s still light out. ‘Magine that! Maybe the lazy guy quit. Fingers crossed

    1. Um, we have that already- it just took me a long time to figure it out. I’m a slow learner.
      Bedford = convenient to kids grandkids NYC airports good neighbors familiar surroundings hairdresser dentist
      Rhode Island = ocean great walking family history big garden fishing lobster
      What more would I want?

  8. When Hubby retired, we thought about moving to Florida also. What we would save in taxes we could buy a beautiful house. However we hate Florida weather, don’t like hurricanes, mold or Chinese dry wall. We love our friends, doctors, in New York and its only 150 minutes to our other house in Lake George. We try to take a trip to the someplace warm in the winter for a few weeeks.
    We just try to ignore the Democrats.
    Glad you made the same decision we did. If Hubby is happy, everyone is happy.

    1. Great comment!! I was miserably slow to getting to your point of view, and I don’t know what hit me over the head (maybe a dose of common sense??), but I feel so relieved, so happy that the look is over. The architect was here for nearly two hours this morning, going over our wish list. He’s excited to make things work. We’re excited to have it happen. Yay!

      Thanks for stopping by and commenting! New Yorkers rule! 🙂

      1. Just remember to get your renovations by the job, not by the hour. Also, the plan is not to get your money back, but to accept that you are making the place more liveable! Just don’t go overboard! Up in Poughkeepsie here we will never get our ones back, the our renovations made the house nicer to live in.

        1. We’re seasoned house renovators. We also have a fabulous architect. All to the good. You missed an earlier post I did where I talked about fixing this house up (before my epiphany) and everyone said the same thing you did: fix it up enjoy for yourselves. Then kids as that money goodbye. Here in Bedford, house prices have plummeted. So advice taken. We aren’t going overboard. Just creating more usable spaces for grandkids etc.

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