I Guess It’s Not Meant to Happen for me. Sigh.


I’ve laid bare here my struggle with weight, and how losing it seems to be impossible. I’ve tried and done it all. Atkins Smatckins NoFatkins, and its new modern sister, the ketogenic diet. Weight Watchers SlateWatchers FakeWatchers. Juice cleanses. Doctors who specialize in weight loss. Nutritionists. Gluten free. Yes, I tried acupuncture and left the office thinking, WTF? Why am I here doing this??

Even once, for one day only, taking a medication (prescribed) for headaches that is used off-label for weight loss. Because I never take any medications, taking one pill threw my body into a shaking mess. So much for that. I’ve seen specialists to make sure my thyroid is not the culprit. Nothing there. I have no high blood pressure. No high cholesterol.

My PCP physician told me about the app LoseIt which I installed and have been using for 12 straight days, my doctor linked to my account and I can share with her what I’m eating. I’m on a max 1000 calorie plan, adding four days a week of real exercise.

The app is terrific, I can’t say enough good things about it (I did pay the $29/year premium fee to get some app extras I thought important for me but the basic app is fine for the casual user).

Anyway, after twelve days of being so good I figured by now I’d be back in a size 6, I weighed myself. Drum roll……………

I’ve lost two pounds. That’s it. Two friggin’ pounds. That’s it.

What time does the pizza pity party start? Extra anchovies please.


31 thoughts on “I Guess It’s Not Meant to Happen for me. Sigh.

  1. I’ve grown to accept my senior figure. I’m not a size 6 anymore either. Maybe it’s time for you to accept your weight and just enjoy life rather than stress too much.

    No anchovies on the pizza though. No pineapple either. Extra pepperoni.

  2. I agree with Jane. While I’m not accepting senior status, but I am trying to accept my fat body. (You are not your body! You are a shining beacon of God’s Love!) remember we did the Whole 30? I figured out that gluten and dairy make me tired and very aches in the joints. So, I’m kinda giving up on “weight loss” and trying to be mindful instead. Enjoy the pizza! Maybe one slice is enough 😉 Your function is to be happy! (Now….to practice what I preach!)

    1. I don’t eat much dairy at all except milk in my coffee. I don’ t eat cheese often and I don’t use butter much. The gluten free craze is a crime – so few people are truly intolerant to gluten. I blame Hollywood.

      I’m not really going to order pizza. I wouldn’t enjoy even one slice. I do know that my dresses fit a little better after 12 days so perhaps if not weight loss, it’s an inch or two.

      My PCP is seeing me as a follow up in early September so I’ll stick with the plan at least until then…then decide where to go from there.

      Thanks both Martha and Jane for your support.

      1. If your dress is looser and you feel you have lost some inches, that’s even better than the pounds. Those will come off too. If you’ve gone 12 straight days, you can go 212 and get those pounds and inches off. Stick with it

  3. I am definitely not a size 6, but I am not 20 anymore. I am fit. I walk over 7-8 miles a day. I am active. I am me. I am OK with me. Maybe it is better to focus on being healthy than being thin??? I know people who are size 6 and they are not nearly as fit as this old lady.

    1. Oxymoron alert: I am remarkably healthy. I have zero, and I mean zero, health issues. Kudos to you for walking 7-8 miles a DAY. That’s impressive. I’m not there yet but I do know that so many people say that walking that great a distance per day is the key.

      My sister is a size 00, not even weighing in at 100 pounds so I have that to contend with when we are together. My father must have been the mailman.

      I try and stay positive. It’s not easy. Really truly it’s not.

      1. I am sorry, I am sure it is not easy, especially with the constant sibling reminder. But, I hope you remember, just from your blog – I can tell you are an amazing person, very talented – I respect YOU for YOU

  4. I’ve attempted to stabilize my slowly but steadily increasing weight by substituting nightly intake of ice cream for a few glasses of red wine. Still gaining a few ounces here and there, but with the ample quaffing of vino, I don’t really care anymore.

  5. You’re following a very tough regimen, so 12 days must seem like an eternity. But in reality 12 days is not all that long, and 2 pounds lost in that time is pretty good. Good for you! Consider what the results might have been if you had been following your usual routine for those 12 days.

    I really have to laugh whenever I hear those constant weight-loss radio ads that promise 40 – 50 pounds in 40 days – or your money back! What utter nonsense.

    1. Good points. I do know my stomach has shrunk and I’m not as hungry as I thought I’d be. I haven’t had one lick of something sweet. Not even one square of chocolate or a quick run to Carvel. No chips. And when I have a salty snack, I count out the exact number of pretzel sticks per serving. I find I savor the 11 pretzel sticks so I eat each one slowly so it lasts an hour.
      The Lose It App also tallies water intake (but that was never an issue for me, I drink 60 ounces easily a day). It tracks exercise too and can sync to a FitBit.

      It never fails though that when I do have some craving, I see one of those quick weight loss ads. 😂

    1. She’s my soul sister body double. If only I could see my feet while standing on the scale….. I have to suck it all in then lean over and squint to see the number on the scale.

  6. If your calorie intake is 1000 calories/day and you keep that up for weeks, there is no way that you won’t lose weight. It is all about calories. I started working with a trainer a couple of years back as I decided I needed to lose some weight. He told me to eat breakfast which I never did, as that wakes up your metabolism. So I started having yogurt for breakfast. He also recommended a protein shake which I still have for lunch a couple of days a week:


    I have this a couple of days a week with 2% milk and maybe some fruit. This one tastes good. Its expensive but it lasts a long time.

    I remember that the weight loss was gradual at first but it did come. If I gave up an afternoon cocktail and wine with dinner, I would do so much better.

    1. I’ve always been a breakfast person but it often included toast. I haven’t had a slice of bread in 10 days. I did buy Peppridge Farm Very Thin white bread at 40 calories per slice but it was more torture having some than not having any. So it’s in the freezer now, forgotten. I have one large poached/scrambled egg and two rounds of Canadian bacon. 112 calories. My oatmeal is 170 calories.

      I also have a brand of medical shakes called HMR 70. Really good, especially the chocolate. Available on Amazon. I have that for lunch on occasion with fruit pulsed in but I prefer something to crunch on. I’ve gotten to buying huge bunches of celery, the ones with leaves, chopping them up and putting in a container in the fridge. Same with cukes. For lunch I’ll pile celery and cukes with some tomatoes and 2 tablespoons of Chatham Caesar croutons and a dressing for 183 calories. EVOO is highly caloric so I’m hardly using it when it was my go to dressing before with red wine vinegar.

      I haven’t had a drink or wine either.

  7. I lost 50 lbs in a year and a half. It wasn’t hard at all. Stopped eating pizza and manging on bread. Do to injury I cant walk worth a damn, but I bought a bicycle and ride it around the block for an hour everyday. Just kept turning the pedals. Not a big deal. I mange on chicken cutlets, homemade fra diavlo gravy, and frozen veggies. And I laid off on red meat. I like eggs too, fried and boiled. Tuna also, canned tonno in oil is the best. I mostly cut out bread, cheeses, crackers, cookies, ice cream, cake, brownies, and macaroni- meaning all the good stuff. I didn’t totally cut it all out, I just don’t eat a lot of it, meaning I don’t buy packages of it and take it home. Instead I buy a lot of grapes, bananas, cherries, and canned peaches and pears. I don’t eat anything out of the can that has salt except for tonno.

    1. Congratulations !!!! 50 is a lot. Good for you.

      What’s funny is I don’t each much of those things but my problem is if I do have something like mac/cheese I can’t have just a little. I know that about myself so it’s just not in the house anymore. The shelves are void of anything tempting. Same with the fridge.

      I’ll add a 3oz can of tuna to my lunch salad. That’s good. For now with such good fresh veggies, I steam my own. Come winter I’ll buy frozen but even some veggies have deceptively high calories.

      I can’t bike where I live. The roads are too hilly and narrow. I have a few Linda Sansone walking DVDs and I use the treadmill daily, set it in a pretty good incline and go.

      My dinner tonight – celery, cucumber, tomatoes, tuna, croutons and dressing. 35 calories for 20 croutons and I went over so I calculate 1.5 servings in the LoseIt app day tally. 288 calories. I was hungry for dinner at 4:45 so now the trick will be to not eat anything else, other an maybe a Jello until tomorrow. This is when things get tough.

      1. Your dinner looks good. Filling and healthy. I’m lucky, I don’t seem to gain weight.. My wife struggles though so she’s very sympathetic to your plight.

        You can do this. My wife downloaded the app. Is the premium worth it? She says it’s $39, not $29 for the year premium .

        1. Peter: The app offers specials for the reduced rate. I happen to hit it at one of those times. Wait for another offer to come around. I DO like the premium and do think its worth it. You can customize the look, your specific goals – only $29/year seemed a no-brainer (for me).

        1. I purposely started this when he’s camped out in RI. I didn’t want any distraction, I didn’t want to have to cook steak and potatoes, pasta. Mr. EOS runs 5 miles a day so he can eat a horse and stay fit. Not fair.

  8. I’m sorry you didn’t lose the weight you wanted but your attitude is THE BEST. Never lose your wonderful sense of humor. If you are feeling well that’s what matters most🏖

    1. I’d feel “well-er” if I lost more weight quickly! The clock is ticking on my 70th birthday and my present to myself would be a whole new wardrobe.

    1. I haven’t laughed that hard in I don’t know how long. Hysterical. Absolutely hysterical. Thanks. It helps drown out the tears of knowing one person in Watertown Mass won the PB!!! I was not in Watertown Tuesday.

  9. I’ve read that all the cells in our body are replaced every 90 days (90 days for the slowest ones and others in far less time than that). Big changes can be made but give them some time.

    I started a modified Paelo diet on February 1. My dad has severe dementia and I’m terrified of the same happening to me. If a better diet might help prevent dementia, I’m there. I hate February (the longest shortest month of the year) but I had to start somewhere so I figured I’d try to make it through 28 days. When I reached March 1st, I decided to soldier on for Lent and try to make it to Easter. I did that too and found great reward in eating a tiny bagel, homemade by my sister-in-law, on the Saturday of Easter weekend. I’ve continued on, eating a slice of bread once in awhile, no pasta, no cake or cookies, etc. I too love pretzels but that craving has pretty much disappeared; I eat one or two for the salt and then walk away. Spiralized zucchini and riced cauliflower under an excellent homemade tomato sauce taste pretty good to me these days too.

    Two pounds in 12 days is great! Be patient with yourself. Your body and your head need to adjust to a new way of doing things. 90 days seems like a long time but there’s a whole new you (cell wise) every 3 months. That’s pretty neat! Keep going!

    1. I got a tear in my eye reading your wonderful story, NY Tax Refugee. It’s got to be so tough dealing with a parent with dementia and all the stress that goes with knowing your dad is mentally gone, but that you decided then that you wanted to change your eating. Well, I’m in awe. That’s so remarkable. Congratulations. I see cauliflower rice is the new thing in the grocer’s freezer case although the Rice Council complained that it can’t be called Cauliflower RICE only riced cauliflower. Makes sense. I haven’t bought any yet but I do regularly buy cauliflower. Right now I’m on a “eat basically nothing” plan so my stomach can adjust to the new reality. Once I start losing a little more, then I can start adding things, one at a time.

      Thanks for sharing a beautiful story. You made my day.

      1. Thank you too. I take support these days from wherever it comes and your blog always refreshes my spirits.

        BTW, I went to TN to witness totality during the eclipse. We followed your advice and skipped Knoxville. Drove through Pigeon Forge and Gatlinburg on the way out of Smoky Mountain National Park. (Both towns are like either Niagara Falls, ON or a boardwalk from the Jersey shore right next to mountains and forest. Preferred Townsend at the other end of the park.) Spent time around Chattanooga visiting other national parks/historic sites before plopping ourselves in the Tennessee River valley for 2:39 minutes of total eclipse — which was awesome! Traffic back on I-81 through VA on Tuesday was hideous but a small price to pay for the eclipse experience.

Comments are closed.