One for Two

Excited to be home from a great day in Madison (dashing and darting an occasional passing shower but overall a beautiful beach day) expecting to see my FeverTree on the doorstep. Alas, nothing, so I checked my Amazon account and was not pleased to see this:


FRIDAY???????????????? When I ordered it, it said Receive Tuesday. I am not happy about this. Not happy at all.

But that’s just the half of it. The second part of the sob story, which actually happened yesterday, is quite worthy of adding to this agita-filled post.

Awaiting arrival via USPS of an 80% lower receiver that had to be signed for, I looked for the mailman, knowing about what time he cruises by. I heard him open and close my mailbox, drive down the hill, then back up to me again. I ran out to the mailbox but he had already flown the coop. In my box with my mail was one of those Sorry We Missed You pink slips.


Sorry we missed you? WTH??? You didn’t even try and bring it to me. I was home waiting for the mailman to drive to the front door.

Pissed, I came in and called the Bedford PO, with whom, as you regular readers know, I have had more than a few issues. I got the sassy old woman whose worked there for 100 years. I explained that I was home, waiting for the box and she said nothing I can do about it. Call the postmaster tomorrow. 

I said, Wanna bet??? I told her I wasn’t going to hang up until she found out if my mailman was back at the post office and my box was there. I was put on hold. And hold. And hold. About four minutes later, Carolyn comes back and says your package is here. Can you be here in five minutes? 

Speechless at this point, I said, not five minutes but ten. She said we close at 5:30. 

I dashed into town, not even sure what I had on, just dashed. I got to the PO in a long 11 minutes, stuck, of course, behind a huge landscaping truck. No one else was parked there so I got right up front, got to the door and IT WAS LOCKED, THE LIGHTS WERE OFF. It was NOT 5:30 yet, maybe 5:20 at this point.

Smoke was coming out of my ears by now and I started knocking loudly on the glass door, then the bay window. Meanwhile I could see a Bedford Police Officer looking over at me, he parked at the fire department next door hoping to trap speeding CT drivers racing through the Village. I waved and smiled to let him know I was not going postal.

Carolyn eventually came to the door, with the package and the form I had to sign. I asked her if it was protocol for the mailman to not even try to come to my door and just leave a note. She said no and added that it was a substitute delivery man today. I didn’t say a thing more, although I was surely tempted. A substitute doesn’t know he has to try the front door….but I could see it was a lost cause. I had the rifle part and the jig kit too. Good to go.

Now if only I had the Fever Tree…………………

17 thoughts on “One for Two

  1. The 80% lower is yours? I’m impressed.

    Why wait for the Fever Tree? Open the bottle of Goslings and have it with Maine Root or your other favorite.

    1. I’m not waiting….delicious. Goslings Rum with Maine Root Ginger Beer and a lime wedge. Nice and peppery. Excellent.

      Nor is Earth Image. Sent this photo from Clearwater Florida with his Meyers Rum and Regatta. He gives it a five out of ten.

      CHEERS to Earth Image!

      The 80% lower attachment is for a son. 🙂

    1. That’s funny. I don’t have a Walmart anywhere near me. I’d have to go to Norwalk or a town in NY that’s near a prison, the name of the town escapes me. I MIGHT go to the Walmart if one was in Bedford Hills or Mount Kisco. Might.

  2. There is indeed both a WalMart and a NYS prison in Fishkill. The WalMart is on the site of some old IBM buildings that I worked in one summer during college.

    There’s a NYS prison in Wallkill as well, but that’s on the other side of the river.

    PS – glad you enjoyed the Gosling’s rum D&S!

    1. Hey!, how are you able to be yourself; comment without being anonymous? I made an remark with intent and an unwitting anonymous comment. Is there something I should know? –Robert

  3. There are actually two prisons in Fishkill: the rough one which is maximum security Downstate Correctional and the medium security one which is a former “criminally insane” hospital. My mother’s church group used to volunteer at the hospital. One of my younger brother’s HS friends was a guard at Downstate until he got attacked and is now on disability.

    1. Yes, that’s what it is. It goes ON the rifle….
      Scroll to the minute mark and then’s long winded but a better explanation than I could give.

  4. Wow, I read the whole post and most of the content of the comments. That’s a first –more like a 19th– for me. Anyhow, I’m confused. Will drinking Fever Tree cause you to fire an 80% rifle at a locked post office or a Carolyn Her-last-name-won’t-matter-as-long-as-it’s-a-Carolyn which inevitably would result in your incarceration in a medium-sized correctional facility for the whimsically insane? Maybe I ought never try Fever Tree [on the 1 in 53M chance that we cross paths **do not** offer me alcohol when I start I don’t stop] because let me tell you I have blown up the earth so many times in my Snow White mind, or maybe I should because it will make all problems –that last word is a synonym for people– seem like they’ve been nuked, eviscerated.

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