Most definitely NOT but I admit to catching myself today in a situation where I left the conversation doubting myself.
The ONLY image I could even think of using for this post had to be something funny, and who’s funnier than Peter Griffin? No one.
Here’s what happened. I report, You decide.
I was at the gas station buying window washer fluid and a couple of lottery tickets. There was a man outside, leaning up against the store window. As I walked by, he said hello, then said he could use a few dollars.
I didn’t answer him but when I got inside to the cashier, a young black woman, I asked her if she knew the man outside (also black, but in this context, not relevant). I further asked if her if she thought the man was hungry.
The cashier, as I said, is young and black. Extra long painted clickety fingernails, an unusual hairdo, but always pleasant to me.
I immediately regretted asking her the question because quite honestly I expected a little lecture back. Here’s where I began the worry that I am racist.
She lectured me alright, but she said: This is America and there are plenty of jobs. He needs to go out and find one.
She added: He only spends his money on beer and if he thinks I’m going to let customers give him money to waste on beer, he’s got another thing coming.
She finished This is America and he won’t go hungry.
Okay, she said totally the opposite of what I expected to come out of her mouth and that is why I feel like shit. I guess I assumed because she was young and black and the man asking for money was black, she’d see me as Miss White Privilege, doling out some White Privilege money.
I’ve never questioned my feelings. I KNOW I am not a racist but gosh, it was so wrong of me to presume what a young black woman behind the cash register was going to say.