I Guess when the sentence ends with 5 exclamation points, she means it!!!!!

Uh oh, looks like I got my marching orders from my sister for the code of behavior at mom’s birthday party….

We will not talk politics!!!!!
richard_dawson

My sister went from a Romney Republican to a Hillary devotee in one election cycle, but honestly it was more that she detested Trump, hated what he stood for or against, hated his boorish persona, hated what he said or didn’t say about women. Early on during the primaries, she’d often say Hillary is NOT my candidate. But something clicked and she became a champion for Hillary, even buying one of Hillary’s Woman Cards. Hey, that’s her right and privilege. I would never deny anyone their say, their vote. That’s democracy.

She slowly stopped calling me because she was sure I’d want to talk about Trump. Her conversations turned singularly to email, and only when there was something that had to be organized. And yesterday, when the email came with only a subject and no content, I paused, irritated.

Irritated for what, you ask? Not what you think. I was irritated she thought I’d come to mom’s party with my gang of Trump lovers and rub it in her face. I would never, not in a million years, make anyone feel badly about a loss. Whether its a personal loss or in this case, a political loss, I respect the process too much to flaunt a win for my side.

I’m hurt that she doesn’t know me enough to realize after all these years as sisters, I would never make her feel crummy. I realize she’s angry that Trump won. She said through my mother that if Giuliani becomes Secretary of State, she’ll move to Mexico. Interesting. Her husband is a Trump hater too, a NYC architect and the AIA has long-standing feuds with the Trump organization, so he felt he couldn’t vote for Trump. Again, that’s his choice. He made up his mind how he felt.

I’ve read that a lot of families are fractured over the election because let’s face it, both candidates were polarizing. But it never occurred to me that my OWN family would enter into a feud.

I’m not going to respond to her email because at this point, I doubt she’d care if I said I wouldn’t have dreamed of bringing up politics at a birthday party. I’ll have to let her cool off, but since there is more than one event during the week my mother is in the city, looks like we’re going to be talking a whole lot about the weather and fashion. Oh Joy!

Anyone else facing family division over Thanksgiving?

 

21 thoughts on “I Guess when the sentence ends with 5 exclamation points, she means it!!!!!

  1. I was going to California for Thanksgiving but opted out, not because of the politics but because I haven’t been feeling well lately. But I notice my son didn’t try and beg me to come anyway. The Hillary voters are a angry lot and the Trumpsters are enjoying every second of victory.

    I think you should write your sister back and tell her what you told us – that you wouldn’t have talked politics anyway.

    1. So you want to come HERE for Thanksgiving if you are not going to be with family in California?

      Sorry you aren’t feeling well. Is it residual from the cold you had coming back from California last time?

      I think I’ll keep my mouth shut and not respond to my sister’s message.

  2. Your sister doesn’t read your blog? What kind of sister is that?
    Trump won and Hillary lost. It’s a done deal. Whenever the election comes up now in a conversation, which is a lot more often than i like, I cut off any discussion by simply saying i don’t talk about politics. Sometimes, i have to repeat that until they get the idea I’m serious.
    By the way, how’s Dawg doing? Dawg doesn’t care how you voted.

    1. This is going to sound strange Swanton, but when I stopped blogging a couple of years ago, I told my sister (and my mother) I was done. My mother, the dear that she is, and I mean this, didn’t understand blogging and more days than not she’d say to me that I just can’t say that or talk about that (enter most subjects). My sister only read the blog occasionally to begin with, mostly when we went on trips, and she too didn’t understand blogging. My intention in not telling my mother that I returned to blogging was nothing more than making it easier for me to stretch my blogging wings a bit and enter into subjects I know she’d disapprove of. As for my sister, this blog was a bit beneath her station from the get-go. She reads and archives historic documents for a living so me dishing about Dawg or moaning about Bedford double-parkers, well, you get my drift. Similar to how she saw me as a Trump voter. Trump voters in her mind were uneducated hicks from flyover country. My cousins still read as do my children but they all know when together not to say “hey, what a great blog post you had today!”. It’s sad that it has to be this way. It’s not my choice but I could feel the level of discomfort my sister had about the blog.

      Dawg looks fine to me but I have to schedule a follow up appointment to be sure. No more redness. No more goop. Only the vet can say for sure if the ulcer has healed. She’s chipper – that’s a good thing.

  3. I have a general division, nothing to do with politics, that I’m aware of. My mom was basically the only thing that held our family (the three children) together. Now we are wrapping up her estate and I cannot wait to be free of my brothers. I’m sure the feeling is mutual. It’s kind of sad, but a bit of a relief as well. We have geography, family values (crazy that we grew up in the same house and ended up so vastly different on the morality scale) and various resentments and unforgivenesses working against us. What’s the saying? “Trials are but opportunities to choose differently”. So, I’m trying to make it into a practice to not react, get upset, or let them (my brothers, or anyone, really) dictate my level of joy.

    I thought I read something yesterday about a kerfluffle when tha AIA endorsed Trump, but was met with resounding backlash. It was a bunch of shit slinging, though and I quit reading. I have a degree in design, and I still have interest, but so many design blogs are extremely liberal, so the rhetoric is spewing forth now. I’ve been doing Suduko instead…

    1. Martha, I think your family dynamic is fairly common. I know more people who have fractured family relations than do have a good one. And it often comes after the mother dies as it is true, the mom is usually the one to bring a family together. My mother is that glue.

      You are so wise a woman not to let the siblings dictate your joy. Often that’s easier said than done. My sister and I are night and day but she and I have never argued. True. But she hates confrontation so her style is more passive aggressive – she’ll stew. I’m of the feeling it’s best to air grievances, as long as the conversation doesn’t devolve into a fist fight. I suspect once my mother dies, my sister and I will see very little of each other, especially when we move to NC or Florida. Aaah, family.

      Yes, the AIA head did tell its members to get along with trump and the members pushed back, my brother-in-law in that camp, telling me stories of friends of his who weren’t paid by trump.

  4. I caught up on my WSJ reading this morning on the train during a quick business trip to the city. There is an article in one of this week’s papers about how to navigate Thanksgiving with post-election divisions. I scanned it and it seemed common sense to me. Even my wife is starting to calm down, though she was having qualms about moving to Florida, it having gone Trump. She even looked up Sarasota County results, which were heavily Trump, she says. LOL!

    She says she even read the post I sent her from the always insightful Doug Casey, which may have helped a bit.

    http://www.internationalman.com/articles/doug-casey-on-why-trump-came-out-on-top

    1. I’ll read the article in a bit. Heading pout the door for Round One of Thanksgiving grocery shopping.

      How’s the Sarasota house RDW?? All set? Certificate of occupancy before the new year? Any advantage one way or another to move before December 31 2016?

      1. They are closing in, finish date has now slipped to Dec 15, which they are confident in hitting. Since it is a custom house, and also a coastal contemporary whose lines are much more unforgiving than a traditional house (molding covers up faults I’ve learned), some of the subs have had to redo some of their work as it wasn’t to the standard of the builder. While we were there, the wine refrig and the real refrig were installed in the kitchen. So we WILL have the essentials of beer, cold water, and wine.

        I did learn a couple of things. There is a disadvantage in applying for a C of O late in the year, as that escalates the reassessment of the new house. By applying for the C of O in January 2017 instead of Dec 2016, we save a year of higher property taxes.

        Also, my accountant says there is no tax advantage to selling the Riverside house next year when I am a Florida full year resident. I still have to pay capital gains to CT as that is where the house is located. Ouch!

        Weather was gorgeous the whole time we were there.

    2. I don’t know enough about Doug Casey to speak to this article as compared to his other work. There’s much in his article that is flat wrong and some that is right. Overall a decent article that both sides can get in some ninner ninner digs. Thanks for the link!

  5. One of the “nice” features of the EOSr blog is your tolerance for very different points of view. I am happy we can talk among ourselves in a civil way!!!!!

  6. We have a unique family dynamic. We’re all on the same page politically (all voted for Trump). We all love turkey and mashed potatoes for Thanksgiving so our holiday will include champagne to celebrate and a second and third helpings of pie.

    I’m sorry that your family dynamic isn’t as healthy right now but maybe your sister will come around to liking Trump after all (or move to Mexico and your problem will really be solved). 🙂

  7. I’m sorry to read this, I think of you as one of the NICEST people. My last sibling died this past year and I now have no living members of my immediate family. Fortunately, I have a 2nd family that had 7 kids and took me on as an honorary 8th and I’ve known them since I was 5 years old. That’s who we have family reunions with, twice a year, and any weddings, too.

    1. My first choice would be to stay connected to my sister but she’s withdrawing from me because of my political views. I’m hoping she’ll get past her anger but her dislike of Trump was huge, so deep that I’m not sure she can accept his presidency.

      I’m sorry about your sibling and its haunting to be the only living member of a family. I got goosebumps thinking about it. But the joy of being included into your second family makes me smile. I have that same treat with my Iowa “family”.
      Happy Thanksgiving.

  8. yes my husband and i are facing family division. Our son, age 26, thinks it is racist that we both voted for trump. It is hurtful as we always tried so hard to help him have the best of everything. we decided to not bring politics up when he comes for Thanksgiving with his new wife. My younger twins( 12 years old) came with me to vote as they were “into” the election. Thankfully we have 2 out of 3 for Trump.

    1. Thanks for sharing your story. I can imagine many Thanksgiving dinners will be challenging because of the election. Hopefully you’ll get through it without mashed potatoes flying across the table!

  9. A good friend of mine voted for Hillary but was not too upset that Trump won. His brother, sister-in-law and niece all voted for Hillary. The whole family is getting together for Thanksgiving dinner and my friend has indicated to me that he will not offer any opinion regarding politics during their time together. What was that old adage? Never talk about politics or religion? Makes sense to me….

    I’m amazed at how vocal people are about their dislike of Trump and their shock and disbelief and anger at his winning the election. I would NEVER say anything like what I’ve heard people say (“My passport is ready and up to date” – – Then leave, I thought!!!!). It’s almost like they never learned to keep their opinion to themselves. Another adage: if you don’t have anything nice to say about someone, don’t say anything at all!

    1. All true words Sammi. We USED to be a family where politics and religions could be discussed, freely and openly, with great exchanges, good ideas, and thoughtful counterpoints. Those were the good old days. Sigh. Throw in what the cast of Hamilton did to Pence, Dems can have their “tolerance” all to themselves.

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