Calling Dr. Bombay, calling Dr. Bombay. Emergency! Come right away

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The Verizon FIOS network to my house

My Verizon landline is kaput. Landline, what’s a landline you ask? Yes, I’m still the loser who has a landline, provided by Verizon.

First of all, calling Verizon is like listening to Obama speak at a funeral. You just want to scream. Press one now. My personal favorite: I didn’t understand you. Understand THIS pal.

Seventeen minutes later, Raj was right on it. I told him what I was sure was wrong (the power backup box in the furnace room has no green light, same as last time I had this problem – identical) and after I suggested that’s where the problem lay, he said to me, yes he really said this, May I talk now?!

He said there was no power going to the power backup box. Yes, that’s what I told you. I checked the outlet with a hand mixer to make sure the outlet was still functioning, and it was.

Twenty one minutes from dialing, I am told I need a service call because the power backup box is not functioning. Ha ha. First available appointment: Thursday between 8am and noon. I guess landlines are no longer a priority, probably because so few people actually have them anymore.

I took the appointment offered at which time the service rep asked me twenty questions:

  1. Is there a gate or is there a special access to your property?
  2. Will an adult be home?
  3. Do you have a dog?

#3, yes, to which I was told the service rep will not enter the premises unless the dog is put away. Such pansies these guys. It must be in their union contract.

As it turns out, Thursday is actually okay since I’m heading into the city tomorrow anyway. I made two batches of eggplant and pepper, one for us, and one for my friend in the city. The one I’m taking to the city is below, a pan too long so it’s only stacked two layers high. The second batch I made the pan was shorter so I got a full three layers of yumminess. Much better.

I’ll be back late afternoon-early evening tomorrow so as is the norm, talk amongst yourselves.

5 thoughts on “Calling Dr. Bombay, calling Dr. Bombay. Emergency! Come right away

  1. Being east of the Mianus River, I was never allowed to have Verizon and I belonged to SNET, which was fine until it wasn’t. When SNET was bought by SBC, this being before everyone had cellphones and actually used their landlines at home, I had a similar service outage situation. I was told by SBC that they could come out in a week or so. I immediately switched over to Cablevision, who had been begging for our phone business for years.

    Fast forward to present day, when over half of the calls made to home landlines are robocalls initiated from overseas and no one answers their home phone unless they recognize the number or voice leaving a message. I and friends have each called Cablevision to get rid of the landline, since everyone I want to speak to (and some I don’t want to speak to) call me on my cellphone.

    Each of us was told, ‘Since you have been such a good customer, if you keep your landline, I can reduce your monthly charges below what they would be if you give up the landline.’ The only logical response is, I guess you got me there.

    1. Ready for this? We HAVE a Cablevision phone number for the same reason. I don’t know the number. Never intend to use it but it reduced my bill. Ha ha.

      1. You can actually transfer your Verizon number over to Cablevision – now known only as Optimum – If you happen to be watching the telly when a call comes in, the caller’s number will pop up on your screen, but not if you’re running Apple TV as I usually am on my set up.

        10 or more years ago a lightning strike cooked my phone line. SNET would not come to replace it as I’m last house on the line. Cablevision did come to repair their line, so I switched everything to Cablevision. Fast forward a four years in the aftermath of a hurricane or some such devastating storm that took down the whole neighborhood, I encountered the line construction manager for AT&T who frankly told me that AT&T really wasn’t interested in maintaining the wires anymore since 3/4 or more of their phone business was in the wireless market so almost all resources were directed to building out that technology because it is so much cheaper than wire infrastructure. All these years later, the old SNET installed wire is still there sagging low across the easement over my neighbor’s property.

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