I’ll Take the Porn Potatoes. Hold the Colostomy Bag, Please.

Angry woman screaming

What a fun fun fun afternoon grocery shopping. First up, a quick stop at Shoprite for ONE item, a free container of in-store grated Romano cheese.

See this????
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Before I left for RI, I shopped for a few things for the fridge there, a container of Romano was on the list. Lo and behold, when I went to use it, it was FULL of mold. Full. I called the 800 customer service number for Shoprite and said I was away and was going to throw away the bad cheese but I wanted credit on my Shoprite store card to get a new container when I got back to New York. No problem. The woman to whom I spoke said she would post $11.00 credit.

I am done done done with Shoprite for many reasons (separate post to come on that) but today when I grabbed a new cheese and checked out, guess what??? No $11.00 credit on my card. So I had to pay for it. I went up to the customer service desk and the man there was pleasant but unable to help me so he called for one of the floor managers. It took three people for someone to reimburse me the money I just paid for the new cheese and also give me the added cash to make $11.00.

I left for the A&P near Target with my long list and what do you think – because the store is one of the many regional A&P’s sold, becoming a Stop & Shop soon, the shelves were very modestly stocked. Despite that, I managed to get most of what I needed. Even a bag of potatoes!

Who on earth thought of this name??? And what does it have to do with potatoes? They better be good!! 🙂
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The whole time I was in the market, I kept running into a woman on her cell phone. You know the type. She never looked up once, steered her cart with one hand, kept talking while she ordered things at the deli and talked all the way down the check-out aisle, only once stopping to tell the cashier the phone number that goes with her A&P savings card. She was talking about her recent operation, all the pills she was taking, everything the doctor told her she should do to recover quickly but what finally made me speak out and tell her to STFU was when she went into DETAIL about her colostomy bag. I stopped her cold, I said loudly, but politely, that I had ZERO interest in hearing about the details of her colostomy bag while I was at the grocery store and told her it was rude to assume we all wanted to know the story. She seemed surprised, but then again, if she’s THAT oblivious to be on the phone for an hour, never considering her voice would carry, never even thinking the topic might not be appropriate for public consumption, it’s not surprising she was surprised. I got three high fives from other shoppers near me, all of whom heard her story but didn’t choose to say anything. Enough was enough.

I’m home and finally done for the day.:-)
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33 thoughts on “I’ll Take the Porn Potatoes. Hold the Colostomy Bag, Please.

  1. We JUST got home after an extra long weekend away. We took the kids out of school early last week (frowned upon but we did it anyway) and went to Barcelona. I was blown away how gorgeous a city it is. I’m sorry I missed all your recent posts but I had a good excuse, teacher.

    Let’s do coffee this week.

    1. Oh my, Barcelona is a dream city. One of the prettiest in all of Europe. Did you go to La Sagrada Familia? You better have taken photos Catherine, that you share here!

  2. It was a most beautiful day, Spent it on the golf course. Hope you got outside to enjoy it and shake off all your negativity that just kept coming your way.

    1. Lucky you to be on the golf course. How did you play? How many three putt greens?
      Yes I was outside most of the morning with my gardeners planning to move about ten hydrangea. And took a nice long walk too. That always does the trick. And wine!

      1. Amazing what you can find in a google search. There were some other specimens, but a little too risqué for this blog. But this should be enough to get our “Pal” excited.

  3. I hope you wash those reusable bags after every use. They get covered with e-coli.
    PS: washing this kind of bag uses more energy and is worse for the environment than using plastic.

    1. I wash the bags maybe twice a year. I scoff at ecoli. I bring any meat home in plastic anyway so germs are at a minimum. But I firmly believe germs are good. They build the body immune system.

    1. My only hesitation is that it has a glass carafe, not a thermal one.The thermal ones are better at keeping the leftovers reasonably warm as the morning goes on. But I SEE the reviews are incredible. I haven’t been in a Hammacher, or a Brookstone for that matter, in a hundred years.

  4. You seem to have some interaction with a stranger to complain about on a near-daily basis, and pretty regular public confrontations with others. Yet I live in the same area, and rarely encounter either…

    1. Ouch. It’s really not on a daily basis. I DO dislike the double-parkers. I really can’t tolerate the phone talkers, but otherwise, I find 99% of the people around me pleasant and I am happy to live here. I guess what you see are the times I do complain so maybe I should show the good parts more. I’ll take your comments into consideration but just don’t read my blog later today when I tell you what I don’t like about Shoprite. Then tomorrow I’ll be all lovey-dovey. Deal?

      Just as an aside, when I asked the woman (in a very respectable tone mind you) on the phone yesterday to kindly wait until she was outside to finish the colostomy conversation, several people around me gave me the high-five. I guess plenty others are bothered but keep their traps shut. I’m guessing from your comment you’d rather I do the same?

    2. Anonymous at 12:10. I live here too and see bad behavior that’s worthy of interactions all the time. ALL THE TIME. You must have your eyes closed or perhaps you are part of the problem, oblivious to other people around you. Stand in any line anywhere and someone is on the phone, telling another about a date, or a diet, or their spouse, or their boss. It’s shocking what people feel they can share out loud. More than once I’ve asked people to tone it down.

    1. Wait, there’s another blog???? 🙂

      I can remember at least four or five times we’ve talked coffee pots at FWIW. It’s a popular topic and one where there’s no popular winner.

  5. I’m curious as to what brand your reusable grocery bags are or where they came from. They look nice and I’m assuming they stand up on their own when empty too? I’m in the market for some new ones…mine are getting pretty ratty (and I don’t wash them either!)

    I would have high five’d you for calling out the cell phone talker too…I took the kids to Friendly’s recently for dinner and the woman in the booth next to us was yakking loudly on her cell phone the entire time (even pointing to the item on the menu she wanted when the waitress came to take their order). It was so annoying and distracting and I probably should have piped up sooner but when she started using swear words I finally addressed it. At least she was appropriately apologetic (but yet continued her conversation, albeit at a much quieter volume). Thankfully no colostomy talk though!

    1. Yay, I’m not the only one brave enough to speak up. It’s even more important when kids are within earshot so bravo bravo.

      The key is being perfectly polite, I never raise my voice but I told her firmly that her conversation was not appropriate.

      As for the totes, they come from a website called Reusit. The brand of the bags is EarthTote. They aren’t cheap, $9.75 per but they hold the entire grocery store, as you said, they stand up right because of the flat bottom, and they wash easily. I have a good dozen as they are great for all sorts of things, not just groceries. Put it on your Christmas list and maybe Santa will bring you some! 🙂
      http://www.reuseit.com/totes-and-market-baskets/acme-bags-reuseit-reuseit-earthtote-reusable-bag-original.htm

    1. I honestly try and be polite not because it’s the right thing to do but because I do worry about saying something to a loose cannon. In today’s world of whackos I think before speaking, looking at the situation as much as the person. There are more times I say nothing than something.

      1. Back in the early days of cell phones I was constantly ticked off by women gabbing while driving. Holding the phone in their left hand, the steering wheel in the right they couldn’t use directional signals or stay in a lane. I would yell, beep the horn and do whatever necessary to let them know they were were a hazard. One day I realized I could get shot….
        In many New England towns it’s common for drivers to acknowledge pedestrians with a wave. I won’t wave if they’re walking with traffic. Unfortunately, they don’t notice.

        1. The polar opposite of this conversation is how many hundreds of times I say thank you or excuse me or hold a door open or don’t ask an older person hogging the whole grocery aisle to move and get crickets in return. It’s an awful world.

    1. We hug in our family but today I couldn’t imagine hugging a stranger without fear of some kind of push back. It’s a shame because hugging is just so wonderful a feeling, when both people are receptive.

    1. You missed my point earlier. I am incredibly kind, to a fault. I always always always hold doors, say thank you, say excuse me, say pardon me, I let drivers in at merges, I let other shoppers go ahead of me at the supermarket if they have fewer things, I’ll secretly treat random people for meals or theater tickets….all that rarely ever gets a thank you, except for the other day at the A&P, I let a woman ahead of me and she was profusely appreciative. Otherwise, I think most Americans don’t expect kindness. They don’t know how to relate to kindness and therefore they don’t reach out to do acts of kindness. Hence, my feeling that the world is awful.

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